Golden Horizon (Excerpt From one of my books)

For this writing challenge, I wanted to do something different to leave every single one of you with! When we did our "Slash Maker" project, I picked the custom background because of a book I'm writing. I won't share too much as to avoid spoilers and keep that element of suspense, but I do wish to share a short piece of my work! It would mean everything if all who read this provide some criticism so that I may better improve.

It was a sharp burning - like every part of me was breaking and being set on fire. It seared every inch of me until, finally, darkness…

My eyes slowly opened to a honey glow, its warm embrace taking me in. Warm, I felt myself drift further. It was a calming sea of golden light, its waves drifting me further and further from the dark shores. The waters glistened from the orange sun, with clouds shielding its dull glow every now and then. My body began to slowly sink below the golden sea. The further I sank, the less the light penetrated the surface.

The tall grass around me swayed in the warm breeze. As I lay there among the honey blades, the clouds glided across the sky, blocking the sun. Slowly, I sat up and pulled my long hair back. As I stood up, I looked down on the cold-hard land, tying my hair back.

From where I stood, among white stone ruins and golden leaves, the land surrounding me was harsh and freezing. A piece of paradise had fallen from the sky unto an unforgiving world. The luminous rays didn’t dare shine this far.

A sinking emptiness welled up in my chest, streaks of shining drops falling from my gold-amber eyes. Tearing, screaming, bawling and seething blew up from deep inside. Wading through the grass, I reached out pulling at nothing. It began to consume every part of me, turning gentle golden tears to cold blackness.

It caught my ankle, a small divet in the gentle soil, sending me tumbling down. My body rumbled against the ground briefly until I hit the bottom of the hill. A sliver of light pierced the storm-gray clouds above, shining on a weak, little sapling. Leaves of warmth and ash-brown bark dimly shone in the light. Gasping, I crawled forward towards the baby tree.

Things began to blur and darken as I inched ever slowly towards the tree. Everything felt fuzzy, fading and slipping away like sand in a storm until finally - it all went dark. I felt my forehead get hot and cold as sweat coated my brow.

The sliver of light disappeared from sheets of clouds as the golden sapling’s life faded. Its shining leaves turned from a radiant gold to dull until they turned into dust, being carried by the wind. It became dark and twisted, the bark becoming just as cold and unforgiving as the mountains around this untouched paradise.

Though that wretched feeling had passed, and my sight regained, its emptiness lingered within my heart. Paradise began to rot, curling blades of grass until it reached down to the ever-freezing dirt.

“Priiiinceeee…” The cold whispered.

Their frost-bitten fingers furled and gripped the trees, turning their bark to cold crystals. Anything… I looked for anything to use against them. Their sunken eyes peered from behind their cover, staring and sending chills from my soul.

Contorting and seething at the mouth sickly foam, they limped towards me. Their bellies were sunken in, ribcages protruding out like icy spikes. The beauty of the grounded island had shifted. Flakes of white began to fall slowly to the ground, covering the last of the golden leaves.

Quick Spoiler, but there is no lich in the book. I just used the sprites in the project and the only thing related to the project and my book is the landscape. Nothing is as it seems...